Monday, 26 October 2015

What I Am and What I'm Not

Over the last 2 years I have lost, gained, then finally lost again a lot of fat. Really as a side effect of training for various things, but often others seem to focus on the weight loss as my main achievement. Which kind of nags at me, like I've done a lot of cool stuff recently and all you ask about is my weight?

I was asked again the other day how much weight I've lost. My reply was I have no idea. I'm not being modest, I never used to weigh myself. Plus I am probably heavier on the scale that I was when I was 'heavier' anyway, but I'm pretty happy with my progress at the moment and I've changed a lot recently in terms of training and nutrition. The person asking again said how much did I think I'd lost.

If you go by weight on the scale and that works for you fair enough, but please don't define the health and progress of yourself and especially others by that number

We are all a lot of things more than that.

For example I am not a number on a scale, I am a woman who climbed a mountain last year.

I am not the size of my jeans, I am a person who has faced countless challenges large and small over the last 2 years and made it.

I am not on a diet, I am eating well and supporting my body.

I am not the dress that I can't fit my shoulders into, I learned to climb despite my fear.
First route I seconded
I am not my bruised and battered legs, I ran over 5k this week as a weekly workout when last year I couldn't run 500m.

I am not an 'ideal' body type, but I have gone from a sedentary overweight smoker to whatever I am now in 3 years.

I am not defined by my new found abilities, I am someone who remembers what it's like to cry, to fail, and to come out stronger for it.
Shin splints

I am not a woman who has it all or has it easy, I am a woman trying to have the best she can.

I am not in the gym 7 days a week, I am a wife, sister, aunt, daughter, friend. These roles will always be the most important.
Our wedding day


I am not my calloused hands and unpainted nails, my hands have crafted me a new body and lifestyle.

I am not less because I have some fat on my stomach, I am a person lucky enough to have plenty to eat and lets not lose sight of that.

I am not finding this easy, I struggle, sometimes I don't want to go, sometimes I want to stay in bed. I am proud of myself for ignoring that little voice and sticking to it.

I am not skinny, thin or small. I do not have a thigh gap. I have legs that let me lift, run and climb.
This route took me ages to get, but once I got it I couldn't stop repeating it cause it looks so badass!
I am not considered to have an 'attractive' body by everyone, I have a body that I love and that has done things I could never imagine.
My first ever race vest
I am nowhere near where I want to be, I am always striving for more.

I do not aim to make myself less, I aim to make myself the best I can be.

I do not have a goal weight. I have a goal.




Everyone has a list like this, and remember yours when society may try to make your story about something less.


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